Marriage Is...

This year Jack and I gratefully celebrate our 25th wedding anniversary. Though the official date is May 18th, we've been following the advice of friends who spent an entire year celebrating their 25th anniversary. Their month-long Mediterranean cruise has eluded us, but the concept is delightful nonetheless.

As we head into the final quarter of the year, I would like to share with you something I wrote on the occasion of my parents' 50th anniversary. This is a tribute to my mom and dad and to the institution of marriage.

Please know that the high standards acknowledged in this letter to my parents are in no way meant to judge or discourage anyone. There are many among us who have been held back from these standards by the choices of others. I personally have close friends who have suffered through this heartbreak.

That's one of the reasons it's so good that human beings don't set the standard for marriage or anything else in life. God sets the standard, and then liberally pours out His grace. Still, we can't seem to get through a day without falling short of His perfect standard.

But when we, or those we love, fall short we don't lower the standard, no matter how tempting it may be. We look once again to His standard. And we open our hands to receive His grace, mercy and redemption.

June 6, 2006
Springdale, AR

Dear Mom and Dad,

Congratulations on 50 years! I've had the unique privilege of observing forty-seven of those years. So here are a few things I think and hope I've learned from you...

Marriage is about giving to one another, but it’s also about “giving together”—more than you could have separately—to God, to your children and to others.

Marriage is about trusting and supporting one another, even when it’s a little scary. And it's about trusting God together, even when it's really scary!

Marriage is about offering your best. It's about overlooking and forgiving when the other guy’s best isn't quite good enough and about knowing you will be forgiven when yours isn't.

Marriage is about being “one” even though the two of you don't always agree on everything!

Marriage is about hearts and flowers and romance and music and memories—and it doesn't have to be expensive. Marriage is also about rolling up your sleeves, putting one foot in front of the other, teaming up, dividing and conquering and somehow getting it done. And I'm not sure which one feels better.

Marriage is about making a home where people feel “rich” even in times when they're financially “poor.”

Marriage is about raising kids who never ever wonder if their family will stay together.
…who never ever wonder if their parents will be faithful to God.
…who never ever wonder if their parents will always love them and one another.

Marriage is about following and setting a godly example.

Marriage is about keeping God at the center, at the apex and in the lead--about understanding and conveying that He is the foundation and the covering, the point of departure and the goal.

Marriage is about being in love and staying in love, and sometimes it's a little bit of work but mostly it's amazing!

Marriage is about making a promise and keeping it. And I am not sure which one feels better!

With love and gratitude,

Twila